Friday, 6 May 2011

Musket Madness

Mountain Blade: Musket Madness is a medieval rpg/shooter developed by indie TaleWorlds Entertainment. It is indeed a pc exclusive, and comes and a relatively cheap price.

The single-player campaign revolves around recruiting soldiers and building an army to see them all whiped out in a 15 minute skirmish. The pace is as slow as can be. Character development? Story? Fun? These features are non-existent in the single-player mode of Mountain Blade: Musket Madness. Mountain Blade: Musket Madness must require alot of time before it starts to get fun, kind of like World of Warcraft. If you're the sort of guy who'd like his bawls gripped tightly in a glove made of knives for a whole day for 15 minutes of sex right at the end then go ahead and buy Mountain Blade: Musket Madness.

In the multiplayer mode, the character development, pacing and fun issues are far less noticeable. Mountain Blade: Musket Madness becomes a medieval shooter abomination. Picking a sword over a gun is like bringing a sword to a gun fight. You might think this is pretty cool, but TaleWorlds Entertainment is still going for the medieval feel, making reloading times exceptionally long. Guns are often one-hit-kill on top. This forces players to camp or face the squad of musketeers sensible enough to fight behind cover. I've rarely seen a match where one side actually wins. It seems infantry have lost the ability to wield shields while cavalry can choose between bows, shields, guns, lances, horses, two handed swords and one handed sword. Infantry get spears and some kinds of infantry can get the weakest type of gun. Again this reveals TaleWorlds Entertainment's hunger for camping. Infantry can no longer push the front line as they could with Warband.

Why are there grenades in Mountain Blade: Musket Madness? It's kinda like someone randomely had the insight that there were no cool explody weapons. Well, because of this person's miraculous idea, griefers can kill 5 of their temmates every round on average. I've rarely been in a match where there weren't two griefers on each side. Then I noticed that there's a vote-kick feature. Oh cool I thought, maybe now I can start having fun. The griefers came back as long as it took to reconnect to the server, about twenty seconds. There is no punishment for griefing in Mountain Blade: Musket Madness, and TaleWorlds has made their job so much easier.

If there was a game that had literally no polish at all it would be Mountain Blade: Musket Madness. There are glitches and general animation monstrosities everywhere. Trees and haystacks can be walked through and attempting to jump up a steep anything will result in your character genuinely flying for a moment or two. Wakling while holding a pistol has the same hand animations as walking while holding a rifle, your character's left had clutching where a rifle barrel should be. Reloading makes it seem like your character is breaking his bones with his mind and then superglueing the pieces back together again. Good as new. Also, character's faces are set in stone, and they look like they've been savagely raped by a wild pack of angry bulls.

Only get Mountain Blade: Musket Madness if you have a medium-large group of IRL/internet friends. Mountain Blade: Musket Madness without restrictions is a cheese fest. Set rules to follow in a server of your own or go apeshit in a public server. If you can avoid where the griefers throw grenades, you may savour a small taste of fun.

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