Wednesday, 9 November 2011

The many lessons games teach

It's interesting about video games. The reception that people have of them, their general popularity and what the actual game is can reflect the views and values of society today. There are many new releases, each viewed by the public differently, and this can show us how the people around us change.

For example, we can see that a game as brown and basic as Call of Duty can still be viewed as the most highly anticipated game series of today, despite the fact that people with actual taste disregard the franchise entirely. For as long as the COD franchise is loved, we can know that there are quite a number of children and manchilds still living among us.

Bastion and Minecraft reveals that many people are able to look past "inferior" grafics to enjoy the gameplay. Something can look worse than Davud, but there are other elements at play. Truthfully, the success of Minecraft was due to bandwagoning, many people bought the game because other people did. It's odd, considering people were willing to pay for an unfinished product and trusted someone over the Internet, but where there's high risk, there's high reward.

It's amazing that a single map on Warcraft III could spawn a whole genre of games. A game doesn't need to be a triple A release to be extremely popular, nor does it even need to cost money. It could be a single map. But the fact that the map was enjoyable to groups of people, and with alot of help from luck can be successful. Dota made people go, hey this game would be amazing with more friends, I think I'm going to convert them!

And there's people saying that The Binding of Isaac is shit, easy and fair. We can be sure that the Internet is full of smelly fucking liars, and that I'm mad.

Saturday, 22 October 2011

DX: The Missing Link Review

The first DLC for Deus Ex: Human Revolution was just released and in a word, yes, it is worth your dollar. It's more of the same (which is a good thing), with new environments, brilliant characters and a slight but noticable graphical upheaval. Although it may sound like (and it is) you're paying for a part of the game that should have already been a part of the full game, the $15 admission isn't too high an asking price.

The Missing Link takes place during the three days Adam mysteriously goes off the grid after blowing up a port in Hengsha. Turns out Tong's advice in aiding Adam's investigation into Megan's death would be rough ride, though correct nontheless. You awake on a vessel, drifiting in and out of consciousness with two unfimilar faces infront of you. Beaten to pulp, tied to an EMP chair and for some reason half-naked, you have no recollection of how you got here or who-is-who. An so it's up to you to get to the bottom of yet another mystery.

The roughly six hour journey is a suprisingly intruging romp, filled with twists, truns, good dialogue and some wonderful characters. It isnt canon in the sense that it dosent affect Human Revolution's storyline, but what it does expand well on it's universe as a whole. As the DLC comes close to concluding, you'll be forced to make a decision that will play out an according ending. Unexpected (like a lot of other things), expect to spend more time than you would have thought trying to make the best choice. A much better and thought-filled ending sequence than HR, and it really is the most memorable part of the download.

Everything else is what you would expect of Deus Ex game. The envrionments are well designed, with nooks and crannies available to those who look hard enough and enjoy entering their large bodies into tight spaces (pun intended). Weather effects have also been given stronger effects, with the rain looking particularly nice and convincing. The addition of not having access to any sort of equipment or augmentations until you find your gear within the ship creates a nice opening touch. Not being the mechanical God you became in HR led to some intense moments, freshening up what we already know. If there's one thing The Missing Link absolutely nails though, it's the boss fight and how your actions affect other characters. Gone are the four copy-cats of the Beauty and the Beast club from MGS4. Without spoiling anything, what you have here can be completed in more ways than one. You can even ninja your way through. Contrary to HR's boss fights, it feels in place and you know why you're having the fight, instead of the 'fight-random-person-to-continue' mentality behind them. You're also given stronger feedback according to how you played through. Murdered even that poor soldiers cat? Expect a mental grilling. Saved everyone, even though you were given a choice between the two? The Mesiah really has returned.

All of this adds up to make The Missing Link a fun expansion and a joy to play. It's just a shame it wasn't alreayd a part of HR. Methinks the decision made in it could have greatly influenced the main storyline. It's pathetic on the developers, but wattayagonadoaboutit? It's worth your money, worth your time, worth your attention, but most important of all, it's a good sign of what's to come. That's right folk, more DLC! The game industry just continues to evolve for the better.

That was sarcasm, by the way...

Tuesday, 11 October 2011

First Gameplay Footage: Hitman Absolution

My my, now isn't this a pleasent suprise? Gaming's most ruthless assasin, Agent 47, seems to have finally decided to come out of hibernation following his long absence since Blood Money. The 'Run For Your Life' demo walkthrough just below you displays a multitude of different aspects previously unseen in Hitman titles, with sneaking, tense gun-play and a cinematic vibe all being a part of IO's new (and frankly overdue) direction for the series.

Some may argue this isn't the Agent 47 we know, what with the focus turning on manshooting in latter half of the demo, and the eye sore of a HUD aswell as the 'wall-hax' raising questions amongst some, but don't be dettered; it's much to soon to write off the game as such. For now, enjoy a well constructed demo that reaches some dramatic peaks and end with an anticipation loading bang.

Saturday, 8 October 2011


Furkan Calismaz the FALCON NIGGER

Q Stomach grab- He target an enemy champion and pulls them with his falcon paw. The enemy champion bleeds for 27 seconds and dies.

W Youtube glitches- He silenced for unlimited time so he can youtube "LoL glitches". Every second he has a 50% chance of finding a glitch and becoming unsilenced. When this happens, he has a 0% chance of actually doing the glitch.

E Aspect of bear- 50% chance he becomes pantheon and laughs in lane 500 times. 50% chance he becomes udyr, and he do not feel pity, even for you.

R Summon: go bear- Can only be used when TIBBAHS is around. Tibbahs can use Summon: go bear. This summons Furkan the FALCON NIGGER. Furkan is then banned from ranked for 400,000 bullets in 12 seconds.

Passive Mad- He mad. He kill davud's leg hairs. Then Davud the ARGHS is special summoned from the graveyard. Opponent lose life points.

Sunday, 2 October 2011

Dead Island

Here's a positively only hate-based review. For this game, I'm going to be pointing out flaws in game mechanics and bugs, that I've seen in my own play-through, and others.

This is a zombie co-op game featuring 4 immune survivors. You get to play as any one of them, and they each have a different kind of rage to get them out of sticky situations. There's an abo girl who uses guns, problem is that you only find guns half way into the game. Her rage is that she pulls out a gun from somewhere. Why can't I use this gun all the time? (As you can probably tell, I'm starting out having weak points, but bare with me).

The chink girl uses knives and other sharp weapons. Her rage is that she pulls out a small dagger that inflicts more damage than your bigger fiery katanas or electric sickles.

The blacky pulls out his fists. He drops his two-tonne sledgehammer and proceeds to kill everything next to him, dealing more damage than his actual sledgehammer. Tying in with this, weapons break in two or three zombie kills, leaving you with your weakest weapons, your damaged weapons or using your fists. For some reason, using your fists inflicts more damage than using any damaged weapon. Visually the weapon looks fine, but it's broken as the game says. Even if the sledgehammers fucking head drops off, swinging around the stick should deal more damage than your fists in any occasion.

Possibly the strongest point I have against this game is that you can break down doors. Usually games let you unlock doors, and bar entrance to others. This game lets you break down certain doors and not others. I'll let you think about that for a sec... You can break down one door, but not another more weaker one. This is outrageous and extremely silly.

This game features zombies and items spawning in the exact same locations, with no randomness. It's better to explain when recounting an actual situation. I've gone into a small generator room, then got out. Two zombies came out of the forest running at me. I killed them, then went back inside. I got out and the exact same fucking thing happened again.

Using melee weapons in this game means that the cursor has to be on the zombie for it to actually hit, even if your character makes a wide swing, he will not get any zombies on his sides.

I've had a woman who was begging me for water. There were two cans of perfectly fine energy drink right next to her. BUT KUTAY, ENERGY DRINK MAKES PEOPLE MORE THIRSTY! Yeah, it probably does, but that doesn't explain why my character can eternally survive just on energy drinks and no water and nobody else can. There's a problem here somewhere, I'll let you figure it out.

Walking through a sea of NPC's will have them whine the exact same fucking lines to you, over and over. When they aren't whining about a quest, they'll whine about themselves. Just shut the fuck up please. I don't want you to whine to me about the same shit whenever I brush passed you.

One girl has a huge cock in her bikini. If you look for her, you can probably find her.

Getting items from inside a luggage bag requires you to hit E to bend down and first open the bag then get up. Then you need to hit E again to collect anything in there. Frustrating more than anything.

Hello escort quests. I've jumped into a car while the person I'm meant to be escorting was continuously running around it. I had to get out, then get back in for some reason and this happened alot more times.

Whenever a character refers to you, they will call you a "he". Problem is that I was playing the chink girl. This isn't really a problem as it only shows how unprofessional the developers are.

In cutscenes, even if I'm only playing one survivor, all of the survivors will appear with me. After a certain quest for example, the camera would swoop around the faces of all the survivors, thanking everyone even if I did all the work. On top of this I'm right in the background.

I'm not even sure I've covered all of the broken game mechanics to be honest, but I can't think of any more so I'll move on.

Pathing for zombies is absolutely fucked. Often zombies would simply be running in place, immune to all damage and just well running in place. Zombies will often appear within your character and attack you from the inside. You will most likely die.

I've taken a car to the petrol station to get some canisters of fuel. I loaded one of them onto the car and decided I needed a break from the game and saved and quit. Upon re entering, only the canister I put into the car hadn't disappeared, and on top of that it wasn't even in my car and didn't have any fuel left in it.

Something else is that I've sometimes dropped through the ground and died. Simple eh, but really confusing when it happens.

Those are all the glitches in the game, and I'm not even talking about the beta or the officially released developer's build. The one where you could press T to noclip around the level. To those who have already played this game, you can feel my pain. To those who are considering buying it, I think the message is clear. Avoid this like the plague.

Space mareen

I'm gonna do it. Something that I've never done before. I don't know if I can, but I'm gonna try. If I get taken away, tell my family that I love them. I'm going to... REVIEW A GAME I HAVEN'T FINISHED! Anything happen? No? Well, everything seems to- WHAT WAS THAT!.. Oh, false alarm, it's my begrudging bird in the lounge room. That thing can make devilish sounds.

It's called Warhammer 40k: Space Marine. I've heard of some shit game titles, but this one has to take the cake. My devil bird could come up with something twice as better, as long as the game involves hissing and scratching. And biting. Which it doesn't, so nevermind, the title is great.

It's a third person sci-fi shooter that exists within the Warhammer 40k universe (whatever that is). It's made by I forget who. Doesn't really matter though, let's get on with it.

Initially, I noticed that the mouse sensitivity was much too low, I'd have to roll the mouse across the table to get the marauding marauder to turn 180 degrees, which is a huge pain rectified quickly and easily. It's disturbing that the mouse sensitivity wasn't fixed accordingly.

Initially too, I noticed that the game is fucking fun. There's nothing like cleaving through waves of insignificant pests trying to warn you. The melee weapons in this game are extremely satisfying, there's even a chainsaw sword saw that makes an appetizing BRRRRRRRRRRR as it slices through the air and indeed enemies.

It gets more and more repetitive the more you go-on, more on that later.

The weakest point of this game is the use of guns, especially later on in the game. The further you get in the game, the more ranged enemies there are and the stronger the melee enemies get, strong to the point where trying to melee them will result you in losing half of your health/shield bar (we'll get to that later). This makes the game lose alot of its initial fun, but it gets worse, the weapons and indeed the ammunition you pick up are suitable only for close-distance targets, such as a shotgun or a machine-gun shotgun (seriously). Your trusty SMG is great in the later part of the game, the bad part is that enemies' health bars increase and ammunition scattered around doesn't. I've been in 15 minute skirmishes where I was forced to use my weak as all fuck pistol to slowly chip away at the health of the enemies.

This game uses a regenerating shield that, well regenerates over time and a health bar that regenerates as you execute enemies. Problem is, that attempting to execute enemies in the later part of the game will get you killed. Poking your head out of cover, even to evade a grenade or the ever bountiful artillery strike will result in you crawling back almost dead due to the other enemies. Very frustrating. Very.

To compensate for this somewhat, you get a rage meter that regenerates your health, makes melee attacks do more damage and introduce bullet-time when aiming with weapons. As you can probably tell, this isn't very useful for enemies that are far away, or even against close-up enemies, as they demolish your health with every strike. So what's the fucking point of it?

Another... not-exactly issue is the way certain characters pronounce words. Lieutenant is universally pronounced as Leftenent. That's right, Left Ten Ent. Weird, but it's probably got to do with the Warhammer 40k universe, which I know almost nothing about.

This is a shining example of a game that get's shitter and shitter the more you play. I couldn't stand it anymore. Like I said, it gets more and more repetitive and eventually becomes fucking horrible and boring. Don't play this folks, give it a pass. Waste your time on better activities. Shame, I was having so much fun at- What was that? A door opeewouij oiwnmr l; rfswm;ojlk

Thursday, 29 September 2011

FETHREER (lol what the fuck)

Fear 3 is a shooter with horror elements and was designed with two-player co-op in mind. And I emphasise this. You miss out alot if you play only the single player, like me.

That being said, play Fear 3 in co-op, or don't play at all. The game isn't good enough to merit playing by yourself. In multiple occasions I've found myself having to fight a boss or two, wondering why the game was so bloody difficult. It seems there's no difficulty scaling at all, depending on if you're going solo or not.

Many of the cutscenes and story plots don't make much sense either, as the brothers, Pointman and Fettel appear together, but after the cutscenes he dissapears (or helps you if you've managed to string someone along into playing with you). Actually, generally the plot is very weak. Half the time supernatural shit is happening that wasn't explained very well to me, such as why The Creep even exists (OHMAGOD PLOT SPOYLAS no), and why these random demon dogs start spawning half-way through the game.

Pointman has the ability to slow down time (he has superhuman reflexes) and this allows him to have great accuracy and superb fighting skills. Fettel has the ability to shoot projectiles and possess enemy soldiers. He doesn't however have the ability to pick up weapons as he's dead but still kinda walking around as a red misty ghost (which is never explained or even mentioned).

This game has indeed scared me a few times, but the majority of the game is just a modern FPS. Without the brothers, it does seem very generic and sometimes very boring. Like I said, you need two people for this game to be something special. But those few horrific times were very horrific. Having only a few scary moments makes those moments that much more special and unanticipated.

The difficulty of this game is crazy. When the game doesn't have a new kind of boss type to throw at you, you see two or even three of those bosses walking around, WHICH IS EXTREMELY DIFFICULT, THESE FUCKERS CAN WALK THROUGH WALLS AND SHRUG OFF BULLETS LIKE THEY ARE NOTHING. YOU WANT TO REGENERATE YOUR HEALTH BEHIND A WALL? FUCK YOU, HERE'S A BOMB INSTEAD.

Now, if only if I can kidnap somebody and force them to play this game with me...