Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Cool Fable 3 Bro

Greetings top hats, I'm here to inform you of and review Fable 3, a title that has been until recently an xbox 360 exclusive. Developer Lionhead Studios has released this video game onto computers, and so it has found its way into my hands.

The grafics of this game are pretty good, and yet do not need a very good grafics card to run. My only quibble is when characters talk to you. When addressing you, they don't look at you, their eyes are set upon a psychological hell that exists in a particular wall. This psychological hell's location changes as characters are placed in new environments or randomely sometimes. The only place the psychological hell stays away from is the main character's face, which is precisely the only place it should be.

There aren't any awe-inspiring moments in the game, nothing that makes you exclaim "ooh" or "ah". It has come to my attention that recent games have been missing this factor entirely. A game needs to give you something that helps you remember it.

During missions where you get your faithful companion's help in fights, they seem quite the chatty Bettys. Their longest silence during a fight is about 5 seconds and they love to goad the 50 or so enemies waiting to beat their invincible ass down. There's a time to talk and a time to shut up. Fable 3 needs to learn this.

Fable 3 also needs to learn that people over the age of 8 play this. During a whole run through of the game, I have literally not died. If you don't understand the gruesome prospect of the FAILURE screen after a game, let alone never even seeing it, there is a huge problem here. Need to raise that difficulty bar a lot higher Fable 3.

The AI for your dog needs to be upgraded. For example, it would point out the whereabouts of hidden treasure. It runs over to where the buried treasure is and slowly and slowly and slowly comes to a stop while I'm already at the burial site waiting for the dog to stop so I can dig up the potion that I've always wanted. Instead of waiting I get up then make myself some nice tea and biscuits, and when I'm finally done the dog should have stopped. Hopefully.

Now the ending is what really gets on my nerves. You need 6.5 million gold and to aqcuire this money you have to do the devil's will. To save your kingdom. If you're evil you put your people through one year of hardship so that you can get the required currency to fight the sludge thing off. If you're a good then you make picnics and hapiness for everyone for about a year, then they'll all die. Sounds good to me.

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