Sunday, 2 October 2011

Space mareen

I'm gonna do it. Something that I've never done before. I don't know if I can, but I'm gonna try. If I get taken away, tell my family that I love them. I'm going to... REVIEW A GAME I HAVEN'T FINISHED! Anything happen? No? Well, everything seems to- WHAT WAS THAT!.. Oh, false alarm, it's my begrudging bird in the lounge room. That thing can make devilish sounds.

It's called Warhammer 40k: Space Marine. I've heard of some shit game titles, but this one has to take the cake. My devil bird could come up with something twice as better, as long as the game involves hissing and scratching. And biting. Which it doesn't, so nevermind, the title is great.

It's a third person sci-fi shooter that exists within the Warhammer 40k universe (whatever that is). It's made by I forget who. Doesn't really matter though, let's get on with it.

Initially, I noticed that the mouse sensitivity was much too low, I'd have to roll the mouse across the table to get the marauding marauder to turn 180 degrees, which is a huge pain rectified quickly and easily. It's disturbing that the mouse sensitivity wasn't fixed accordingly.

Initially too, I noticed that the game is fucking fun. There's nothing like cleaving through waves of insignificant pests trying to warn you. The melee weapons in this game are extremely satisfying, there's even a chainsaw sword saw that makes an appetizing BRRRRRRRRRRR as it slices through the air and indeed enemies.

It gets more and more repetitive the more you go-on, more on that later.

The weakest point of this game is the use of guns, especially later on in the game. The further you get in the game, the more ranged enemies there are and the stronger the melee enemies get, strong to the point where trying to melee them will result you in losing half of your health/shield bar (we'll get to that later). This makes the game lose alot of its initial fun, but it gets worse, the weapons and indeed the ammunition you pick up are suitable only for close-distance targets, such as a shotgun or a machine-gun shotgun (seriously). Your trusty SMG is great in the later part of the game, the bad part is that enemies' health bars increase and ammunition scattered around doesn't. I've been in 15 minute skirmishes where I was forced to use my weak as all fuck pistol to slowly chip away at the health of the enemies.

This game uses a regenerating shield that, well regenerates over time and a health bar that regenerates as you execute enemies. Problem is, that attempting to execute enemies in the later part of the game will get you killed. Poking your head out of cover, even to evade a grenade or the ever bountiful artillery strike will result in you crawling back almost dead due to the other enemies. Very frustrating. Very.

To compensate for this somewhat, you get a rage meter that regenerates your health, makes melee attacks do more damage and introduce bullet-time when aiming with weapons. As you can probably tell, this isn't very useful for enemies that are far away, or even against close-up enemies, as they demolish your health with every strike. So what's the fucking point of it?

Another... not-exactly issue is the way certain characters pronounce words. Lieutenant is universally pronounced as Leftenent. That's right, Left Ten Ent. Weird, but it's probably got to do with the Warhammer 40k universe, which I know almost nothing about.

This is a shining example of a game that get's shitter and shitter the more you play. I couldn't stand it anymore. Like I said, it gets more and more repetitive and eventually becomes fucking horrible and boring. Don't play this folks, give it a pass. Waste your time on better activities. Shame, I was having so much fun at- What was that? A door opeewouij oiwnmr l; rfswm;ojlk

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